So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
