He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
