I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
