I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
