If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
