If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
