i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize