i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
These tits shall not be calmed
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
