she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
