we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize