You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
