the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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