You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
