the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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