hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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