My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Randomize
