I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
