we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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