I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Randomize
