Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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