that's an acceptable place to lick
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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