how can u be prego again
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize