I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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