I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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