omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize