She's JV to your varsity
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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