Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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