I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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