Tell her she can't have a vagina
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
