I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
