Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
