he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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