dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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