i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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