So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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