The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
