where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
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