Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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