If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I understand Curling. That high.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
it glows. i had to have it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
