Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
