I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
