He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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