bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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