This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
