But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
