So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
