I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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