i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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