If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
