i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
