Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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