Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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