U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
