This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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