its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize