yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
