wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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