can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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