never play flip cup with pint glasses
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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