This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Randomize
