I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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