just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
