She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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