It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
