my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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