Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
