i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He is an equal opportunity slut.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
