Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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